After the ....

accidental horrific passing of our cousin this last March ... I did not feel like getting out the tree my husband had purchased, just days before he was to pass away. He had an unusual spurt of energy in getting a tree in a colour I never thought he would have gone for ... 

I have up the smallest tree that you can put some tree lights on ... these died on me at the end of this last week as I went into my celebratory weekend of husband's  life as death day approached ... I think hubby was disgusted I did not make more of an effort ... ho ho ho ... 

I now have replaced them over the weekend; with some new ones in an unusual length too ... perfect ... The glow from these means the ambiance is good once again ... just in time for the 21st ...

Just tree and star lights ... small and perfecto in its simplicity and stars to represent the season and a beautiful soul who passed away in this forth coming morning ... some season's back ...

Short Reads; Long Reads ...

Etc ... images a few ... 

I need to fit a lifetime in; so I follow my own path from my life experience of prejudice, social exclusion to eventual social isolation leading to a tragic outcome ... 

How I find my inner creativity is testament to a love and faith, of a once vibrant man who is now no longer singing away in our home ... and the few who have since had the time to care ... with patience ... I am not easy to be with right now ...

And as yet another year since, has passed by. I have found I am able to write, inspire and capture moments of colour in varying shades of my once pencil tones of grey to a vibrancy of colour and tones and hues ... I thought had gone for ever ...

Proper Job ...

HEARTWARMING TIMES ...

Memories and More ... It has been such a long time to enjoy this time of year in Kernow

Proper Job ... Down this part of England means ... 'something good has happened'

After many days of living in times of survival, instead of living; to have a hearty meal in a warming ambiance is a luxury often taken for granted. It has been a long time to enjoy this time of year in Kernow. And to enjoy some homemade, heartwarming meals in a cosy environment, is soothing from inside out. A warming and calming experience in itself.

Also spending part of Advent in this area of the country, let alone a place I grew up in; after too many days past... this was indeed lost on too many people at that time. 

Also seeing the evolving Christmas festivities that change over time, after time elapsed in that environment that came upon on lack of duty of care, before a tragedy got things moving. That is irritating in itself.

All in All  ... the simple things in life ... means the most ... to most ...

and as mentioned many a time using Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs is such a simple concept to put in practice ... all common sense ... 

Taking Photos ...

Many, many moons ago I was fascinated with unusual ways of photographing life. Those who photograph a certain area or place over time to show the difference through styles and change as we evolve. 

And more recently in photographing anything that comes from my perspective after being in an unusual environment for too long ... and as though seeing the world through and in a completely different way. 

I have taken a photo of an interior of a shop, this last week which again from outside in, making a shop assistant in a store, that never usually approaches a customer come over and ask if they could help. That is unheard of unless it is in a more personal shop.

It has kept me entertained. 

The following is yet another store ... it shows presently the region and time of year ... one day too the style of front covers that will evolve over time...

Also the product placement of Tide Times ... 

A Regional Display of Magazines
28-11-2015

Brassy Gold Tinsel blowing ...

around town today ... from a Santa sled in the town centre, Also with those brightly colour merry-go-rounds that appear in places from time to time. I have no idea if this is the first year they have been here or not ... All tacky to me ... but I am sure a delight to others. 

My parents let me go the local fairs, but Dad was always worried about the safety of these rides. This would be well before health and safety and progression of time improving these rides.

I was the same with our daughter ... but being a daughter too ... I know our sense of adventure and whether we are doing something or not does depends a lot on what we see and what we face ... As our daughter grew up it was Alton Towers ... Chessington ... and Lego Land ... and the like ... it makes the rides we had ... look tame ... 

Our daughter would like to go bungee jumping ... my thoughts are well known on that ... even I would not have done that in my younger days ... if I had had the opportunity ... 

When I used to dive from a diving board at a sensible height; that was fine. When I tried it a bit higher ... the sensation of the deepness in that area is amazing experience ... not one I want to try too often. And certainly you have to know about the safety of diving in natural pools and that it is deep enough to do so. Dad knew all the rock pools in our area of Cornwall. He was the one to help me gain confidence, with these natural areas of the coastline. This does not appeal to everybody. We loved it. My Mum did not. 

Titles of hoarding programs and the ways living conditions are portrayed ...

... this is a topic of discussion that was much talked of ... in the early days working with the crisis team from unexpected quarters and not the MHT ... on the shock of how my husband was to pass away ... And comments to over the festive period which were of no help ... I will not go into detail ... on those ... at present ... 

Whilst I was able to contain certain cleaning chores until the final days ... where time was taken up elsewhere, instead of living ...  it would be obvious of dust build ups etc where access was eventually difficult ... Yet again today ... I was cleaning my toilet and visions of all those programs who portray toilets of those who either are unable to clean or to get mended ...  Ours was OK ... 

Duvets ... household linens ...some of the items I have already mentioned ... access to space on counters ...white goods ... healthy eating ... animals roaming in and about of some of the homes portrayed ... research needs to be spent on this part of the mind ... my husband was seeing dirty as clean ... and clean as dirty ... and so much more said or not said ... I still have so much to process to this day ... 

• of how it crept up ...  
• the never ending shunning ... 
• the mis-understanding 
• the consistent bad words 
• Social exclusion ... that was beyond words
• Prejudice 
• No-one getting the ulcer smell was not conducive to husbands feelings 

reducing our quality of life to so much ... to non existence 

The surrealness of seeing my home disappear ... along with my late husband ...

Home is sanctuary for some and some it is not ... therefore my process in recovery needs this to be taken into consideration ... which unfortunately is not always the case ...

Night Time habits ...

from my restless times ... You can virtually do anything in the virtual world; except even the virtual life needs maintenance or update times to catch up .... this being during what one thinks as usually is the quiet time at night ... or not ... 

I can blog 24/7 with ease. I have made another virtual friend and socially ranked #2 out of them with one to beat at our mutual game ... which is highly competitive and I have surprised myself with this ... 

I remember playing card games with family and friends alike, which is very competitive, as we all can be ... now I can play the same games and many others on my device ... playing against the device at times; as I have also been doing. I can see how science fiction and fact inspire each other ... as in The Terminator series off shoot ... creepy ... 

We can all say it ... About Christmas ...

A lot of build up, and preparation for a few days of the other silly season for that two week festive period for some 

but stepping back after experiencing one Christmas a blur; experiencing a death, then a Post-mortem taking place on that Christmas Eve too

Scrooge I am not ... but  

 

if I fancy a mince pie, as I already have, I will do. And I have stepped right back with the pre and post festive consumerism. In fact our presents between my daughter and I have changed, we do not clutter each others lives anymore. Our gifts go beyond material things, which they did to a certain extent before from my aspect.

While some pile up high from here on in at a steady pace with gifts and goodies now. We will keep things to a minimum, celebrating it simply. Although this year will be different with spending time with the partners family with plans made on food in for us as they don't usually have Cranberry Sauce. 

Virtual Gaming Friends

... since I first became unwell and could hardly do much ... I decided to start playing all the games that had been lying dormant ... on my devices ... I used to play Temple Run and Loony Tunes ... I had been playing Frozen Free Fall more recently ... and some of the other well known games ...

I have also made some games ranking and some virtual friends in doing so ... I was amazed at this as I was way ... behind both my daughter and sister ... last time I played these games ... I am ranked in the top 30 per cent ... is it a joke ... 

Our buying habits in a ...

particular store or two ... after living with hoarding ... it is coming across the way some buy on seeing an offer ... as we go about selecting our purchases side by side.

Mass Purchases ...

Yet again today, while I was looking at an array of household cleaning products that were on a really good offer or few ... a fellow shopper was filling up several baskets with many of the same products ... virtually clearing the shelf of the products ... my mind thinking many reasons from an observational point of few of the obvious to the not so ... and in storing them I am hoping they have a huge store area ... or I dread to think of the other buying habits and where they are put ... especially the flammable items ... 

On most occasions when I am in this store I find fellow shoppers are filling up baskets to over flowing ... with the same product ... some literally grabbing armfuls ... 

I am very critical the impact of consumerism and parting with money on some things that are not always necessary. For me it can add to an overwhelming array in the cupboard, that I am trying to reduce ... at home ...

Pros for bulk buys

• Saves money (if used)
• If you live out in the woods and can get cut off in bad weather 
• A business ... products are not always cheaper at a wholesaler

Cons for bulk buys

• Waste of money if not used 
• Safety in storing large quantities of chemicals etc
• Clutters up space if you do not have it 
• Or cannot cope in putting away quantities of products because you are at odds with those you live with, thinking they got the bargain of the century ...

Online Grocery Shopping ....

I had been reticent to use online grocery shopping for so many reasons 

• Minimum order difficult, for one, weekly

• Prefer to pick items off the shelf of old and shop for self with in season food, for as long as I can remember ... not only cooking for my family at times and helping Mum with the baking when family etc came to stay or visit ... and having once cooked food for family friends, when they had guests, as they didn't do that sort of cooking ... But the fact that I did Domestic Science at school and enjoyed getting my basket of ingredients, ready every week in term time. 

• After being isolated and shunned, it would be so easy not to go out 

But in recent events needed to have an iron rich diet 

• And unable to get out and stock up on the food and other supplies a home perpetually needs. Fortunately the stocks were low, so able to make most of it. 

• Able, to adjust budget as the minimum, is the maximum at times, depending on needs, for me at the moment.

• In the future ... I could do a monthly order. I did used to like to shop around to get the best possible deals, for the budget to stretch further. That does take time and work constraints in the UK is pressured at times ... and for me personally, it is difficult to get back to these routines of those pre-isolation days. 

• And incase anyone that is reading this and not used online grocery before, and have any doubts on freshness, it was good. 

The latest Argos Ad ... and my youthful adventures of work or not as the case may be in my Kernow days ...

... I have had many a discussion recently ... about the retail business and how I would find it too stressful to work in these days. And the latest advert that Argos boasts about having your order ready swiftly ...  brings the working environment for the staff into my focus again. 

I have worked in a shop as a stand in, in various venues ... a tourist shop on the harbour and a tea room at Pencarrow ... where I informally helped when staying with my friend. Apparently the Lady of the manor still remembers me ... 

One of the many joys of not what I really call work, I enjoyed being of help where ever it was needed... back in the 80s ... giving away my age a bit now ... down in Kernow ... not only did I work alongside a lovely family in their cosy factory making picture frames. I diversified in babysitting for their children, painted a mural in their bedroom and stepped in at the last minute when needed ... to work in their shop in Padstow.

I had a babysitting circle ... and I also cleaned the offices at one of the local garages as a Saturday job in my teens. And also to earn extra money ... helped Dad with his business answering the phone and typing... and painting the trailers he made... And other tasks in the garage... which was out in the country...  

The retail business in these chains are so impersonal after that; with demands that are sometimes a bit unfair ... on the staff ...

Observations or not ...

as the case may be ... On my time out yesterday, although I do notice some things. I am so oblivious to so much still ... such is the conflicts in the inner workings of the mind ... consequently, I nearly tripped on an apple core; just dropped as they had finished it on the pavement, right bang in the middle where I happen to notice seconds before as I walked along .

And again on my evening trip out; I was walking from my door, along the path, out onto the pavement, into the road to cross it ... just milliseconds before I noticed someone had dumped the remnants of a take away meal brown bag  ... from their car. People eat here; there is a bakers at the end of the road, as well as many take aways.

Fortunately the towns road sweeper,  have a little tin hut in the nearby car park. This is a well swept area ... always tidy ... it will soon be tidied away ... I do not think many people appreciate living near a well maintained part of the town. 

The many band of people who quietly tidy and clean in the background of life in offices, our streets, and the like. 

I still loads of topics to write about; but as with the more in depth blogs; my mind is not quite working yet ... to concentrate on some of these tasks and topics ... 

Food Banks ... and more ...

... I slip in food that people go yuk to; when you need  food you are in a totally different place and to fill your stomach you have to just get on with it ... then there is the dietary requirements and nutrition and feeling full is of utmost importance. And of course it is more than good to also slip in a treat or two. 

Ideas not on the sheet attached to the box or on the leaflet ... unless updated since I last looked at it:-

• Uncle Bens Microwavable rice packets 
• Tuna
• Mayo
• Tin sweetcorn
• Carton Custard to add to the tins friut 
• Tin pie filling 
• Tins of substantial soup 
• Evaporated milk 
• Long life Milk
• Coffee Mate
• Ovaltine
• Horlicks
• Hot Chocolate
• Tins Macaroni Cheese and the like 
• Cook in Sauces ...
• Ryvita
• Peanut Butter
• Melba Toast
• High Fibre Cream Crackers
• Ready Pots Porridge 
• And it goes on ... 

Dried foods like the army have would also have more nutritional value

Or a logical way to distribute supermarket food greed ...

And boxes of fresh fruit and veg delivered on a rota basis to keep fresh ...

Basic Food ... 

• Potatoes and other veg you can add to ... cook in sauces 

A lot may have changed since I was last in touch with this; for things evolve quickly 

I was taking a walk ...

... One Saturday and wondered where to put these topics in my blogs. Whatever I am doing so much creativity and colour ideas whirl around in my head. All the topics too popping up from walking past homes several looking like a hoarder lived there and how a garden reflects whether they have enough time or not like to garden ... to cluttered working environments; despite all the policies and regulations laid down in black and white. 

We all make assumptions; therefore what I have been doing is reading between what I see and thinking outside the box; to stop dwelling on my own situation I have been left with after a terrible unrelenting time that led to a fatal tragedy.

And observe from where I am at with the world around us to ponder and reflect into words images and ideas ... and general thoughts ... just to make us think if only for a second ...