My ethnicity

in my recent call to 111 was asked along with their acknowledgement the questions about to ask may not seem relevant. I was in such pain. I just needed reassurance. I knew from experience how fatal it can be. That night I was determined not to call the other number. I was right to be concerned. The advice to take a photo or mark it with a pen and the hope not to have a drip of antibiotics. Thankfully the oral antibiotics did the trick. Although I had signs on my hands too at one point 

It is like the time I had to sign the consent for an emergency c section ... I was extremely out of it ... How on earth are you supposed to concentrate on the small print in the middle of those contractions ... ?  Do I wish to wear my wedding ring ... ? And so on ... The prepping for an operation in the abundance of questions while our baby was struggling ... All in the stride of best everyone is able ... 

While all you want is the immediate result to stop the suffering ... in the middle of all these protocols ... which are far far away when in the middle of distress ... it is the same in the mental stress only no one is there to reassure the pain ... and much much more ... 

We all ignore

much ... this after a killing of a spouse more noticeable when it is grave and not realised ... it is naturally only to catch some of us ... 

The continuation of life in void of what should have been ... I am pave in the way of much change within change and take no sillys ... 

Only the last month our daughter in time treasured together seen the picture amore tad of my ups, downs and ills ... My mouth of bitter in truth of more she did not know ... in that time ... the improvements much, the lapses such, the irritation of a skin flare up needing a course of antibiotics they cared about to adapt in getting a bit more comfort in the new home to ease those woes ...

The passage of time eliminating what is thought. The actual entirely a different matter. The moans and groans around in a part of country different. Not too disimilar in all the areas of my visits ...

Only those I connect with in the talk of hoard. I mostly listen. A town councillor. The homeless. The drunks. The lonely. The young. The old. The ills. The bereaved. A receptionist. Charity shop assistants. The shop people. The begging. The cold sales. The busking. The big issue. Fellow lone and other travellers. The chatting up. And the massive flirting. The anger. The bitterness. Others empathy. The fellow confused. The assistance in my injuries and confused state. The one time I had a melt down immediate post crisis in public and so much more ...

The secondary to kin

of the initial primary client in storm of not in sync with life was much missed in our time .... 

I have much to say ... little to write at times ... and vice versa ... things one says ... Others words locked up inside of me 

What I see

to others see ...

but then we only see our life like no other

a view out from one portal of many ... I am still living what came and went like so many since been and gone ... The need of full faculties and communications in skills and the right temperate in people in their intervention ... 

That ...that happens

in irony to some ... Struggling with sore hot inflamed skin in a wide circular band round a lower limb ... 

One of the many beneficiaries of our extensive finds of a home much is to a skin charity ... although they are one of many who used the forced unpaid work scheme. I witnessed samples of in my recovery care, which rolled on from the future jobs fund programme which again saw rising stars within an housing association ... The pros and cons of seeking a solution to a vocation and not for just the young ... 

While I was in the long haul with late hubby at one time I was targeted for a period of time ...  in attending forced work interviews ... I was unable to attend .. I could not leave the house on a regular basis ... Another irony for my job part once was at opposing ends of my own family ... 

Latchkey kids stemmed from the war in the second world one ... A contradictions in a country much ... A family gets reprimanded doing the very thing that is law in context of work ... or war ...

And leaving your own kids with others, to look after other kids  ... The fundamental basics in life of much expectancy ... 

Fluctuations in cost

for the same standard items across parts of England ...

in Kernow shopping a grocery shop could be more expensive for me  .. In Crewe in Greggs it is 10p less than in Dartford ... 

this I am remembering again this divide within a country ... thankfully when I am tired thy Cornish lilt comes through rather than my city slang ... I blend in although the way I say ta ra gives it away ... 

Eco space ... as standard ...

not small builds squeezed in ... put in place of these historical buildings being demolished ... to make way for supposed progress ...

This Great Barrier Reef showing one of those examples on the long term decline on the environment of how new builds could be better served in harnessing nature instead against it ... The blank canvas created by pulling down buildings of old in long term thought not short term money ... all those design ideas buzzing in those brilliant minds out there ... 

The infra structure imposed on instead of ... Design is a concept only thought about by like minds ...

I am in the process of designing a bathroom curtain instead of lined ...I am piecing together two complimentary fabrics into reversible tab tops ... this enables a two way interchangeable take on the bathroom ...